


I can't believe you dropped Incubus!Obito into your magic floating orgy house, Tim

by blackkat, sprx77



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Urban Fantasy, Anal Fingering, Blowjobs, F/F, F/M, Genderqueer Incubi, Light Masochism, M/M, Manhandling, Multi, Non-Chronological, Polyamory, Trans! Nohara Rin, porn with only the faintest hints of plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2018-07-12
Packaged: 2019-02-17 15:03:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,076
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13079430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackkat/pseuds/blackkat, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprx77/pseuds/sprx77
Summary: Shisui has been a member of the household for all of twenty-seven minutes when he walks in on Naruto and Sasuke fucking on the couch in the main room.He almost trips over his feet and right into the wall at the sight of gyrating bodies tangled up on the cushions, drops the box of books he’s carrying, and slaps his hands over his eyes with a squeak. Then he manfully resists the urge to peek through his fingers, because Naruto is all golden skin and laughter and sun-kissed hair, and Sasuke is pale and beautiful and gasping beneath him, and Shisui is only human. Very, very weak human, especially where pretty people are concerned.Hashirama, who had cheerfully volunteered to help him carry boxes up, leans around him shoulder with a sound of amusement and vague interest and asks, “Isn’t that Obito's orgasm couch?”Or: Kat and Tim make a porno





	1. A first time for everything (including ritual sex)

**Author's Note:**

> A Tim chapter! For reference. 
> 
> This chapter is dedicated to animarune, by the same name on ao3 and tumblr. It's their fault for goading me into writing Sasuke/Sakura + against a wall.
> 
> This is the Orgy House 'verse Kat and I have talked about on and off for months on tumblr. It's happening! What you need to know: everyone is polyamorous and nothing hurts. They're mostly roommates. Sasuke is dating Naruto and fairly new to the workings of Orgy House in this chapter.

Having ritual sex with Sakura, one of Naruto’s roommates, was not how he thought his first time would go. First time with ritual sex, obviously. Or rituals in general. Apparently, there’s power to be had in a first time, if you do it right.

“Are—“ He had to try again after his voice broke stupidly. “Are you sure it can’t be with you?”

Naruto laughed, though not unkindly.

“Nope. Both participants have to be virgins. We can stop, if you want.”

He was naked as the day he was born, golden skin and spun-sunlight hair, blue eyes glowing with magic and power. Sasuke’s blood rushed a little just looking at him, lips parting a bit to accommodate how he was suddenly breathing a bit harder.

Naruto grinned, easily feeling the surge of  _want_ on the air.

Sasuke looked back to the woman in front of him, standing casual and grin a bit blood-thirsty. She had  _pink_ hair and green eyes and was wearing soft-faded jeans.

“For the record, I’m  _not_ a virgin. In either sense.” The grin looked shark-like, like Kisame’s when he kept his teeth human. And hadn’t  _that_ been a fun morning-after, the first time he’d slept with Naruto and wandered into the huge kitchen to see a giant man cooking.

Now, he knows it’s an absurd bout of coincidence that he didn’t walk past half an orgy spilling into the living room.

“Won’t that fuck up the ritual?” He asked Naruto, who rolled his eyes.

Sakura laughed, looking delighted.

“Not as such, pretty boy.” She answered easily, rocking back on her heels. “I’m magically null.”

“You don’t have magic?” He was startled. He thought everyone who lived in this crazy house was some sort of supernatural being.

“No,” Naruto corrected. “She’s  _immune to magic._ The magic she produces actively nullifies other magic. And she learned how to fucking weaponize it, much to the shock and horror of literally every significantly powerful being in several worlds.”

“I’m a ward-buster by trade,” Sakura’s grin is more of a smirk now, as she looks at him like he’s—he doesn’t know. It’s a dark look. Hungry, and he’s dating an  _incubus,_ so that’s saying something. It has chills racing up his back. In a good way. The best way, if he’s honest.

“She can walk into anywhere. No ward can keep her out. And then when she’s inside—“

“I tear them down. Nowhere is safe from me. Magic can’t hurt me. The only way to stop me is with physical force and it’s rare that I meet a shifter or even a demon who can match me in sheer physical strength.”

Sasuke shivered despite himself.

“I’m—really gay. Probably. I’ve never enjoyed sex with a woman.” He said, clipped and a little breathless.

It’s obnoxiously personal, but instead of his hackles getting raised he just found a sweat breaking out at the back of his neck. It's comparable to right before a major working, when the ozone builds and his hair stands on end.

Sakura makes eye contact with Naruto over Sasuke’s head. When had she gotten so close to him?

“Does he like being pushed around?” She drawls, completely ignoring him.

Sasuke ignores how a flush steals up his cheeks.

“Manhandled? Oh yeah. Don’t break him, though.” There’s a dark chuckle.

“Don’t you want power, little Uchiha?” She asks, still grinning. It makes Sasuke’s face hurt just looking at her. People smile too much.

Especially people in this house.

It’s probably all the orgasms.

“I’m on board with the ritual,” He says, and it’s not like Naruto couldn’t  _literally_ turn him on like Sasuke turns the hot water on in the morning, his control over libidos not something he ever needs to use but certainly something he  _could_ use.

And if that got Sasuke hot under the collar, the knowledge that his boyfriend could  _force_ him to want it, want anyone, get so turned on he’d beg for a stranger, then—well. That’s no one’s business but theirs.

“You’re not the first person in this house I’ve done this ritual with. I’m—“ Sakura strokes a finger over his collar bone. He doesn’t flinch. “—a good option for this kind of thing. And I’m not an incubus but just about everyone in this house is an amazing lay.

“You gonna break that streak, baby witch?”

Sasuke scowled at her.

“I’ll try not to disappoint.” He says, and he meant it to come out dry and sardonic but only halfway succeeds, breath hitching in the middle of a word as she runs a hand down his side slowly.

Her eyes are a dare.

“Great!” Naruto chirps, all victory and grins. “I’m going to set up the circle. Sakura, don’t break him.” He reiterates.

“He’ll be more or less fine when I’m done with him.” She agrees, without looking away.

“ _Sakura._ ”

“Calm your tits, demon prince. I’m gonna rock his world, not end it.”

“Mmm.” Naruto hums, amused. “Don’t get him off until you’re both in the circle.”

“I know the drill,” Sakura confirms. “That’s not a problem for you, is it? Coming  _early?_ ”

Sasuke sputters.

“ _No,_ it’s not.” He says, pink-cheeked and annoyed. And annoyed about the blush, too.

He steps forward, almost but not quite into her space, wondering what he should do first. Touch her, obviously, but where? Women are so finicky.

She’s wearing a sports bra, black, and it at least contrasts with her skin nicely. There’s an exposed span of midriff between that and the low-riding jeans. Her shoulders are bare, so he reaches out and brushes pink hair back from the right one.

It almost immediately falls back to more or less the same spot, barely longer than the shoulders it brushes, and he leans in to kiss the skin there.

“Oh my god, you’re adorable.” Sakura says, and Sasuke would bristle except the next thing he knows she’s grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him into a kiss, wet and filthy.

He moans, helpless to it, hands raised uselessly around her shoulders and touching nothing but air. She hums into his lips, but it’s not—it’s a considering hum, like she’s trying to decide if she finds him wanting. If he’s good enough.

His eyes had slipped shut at some point.

Sasuke kisses back, determined to prove himself. Sakura lets go of his shirt, but only to push him back, palm flat on his sternum. It’s like when Naruto decides to remind him that there’s an ancient demonic god just under his skin and even if there wasn’t—a regular demon has more strength in one arm than a mortal like Sasuke has in his whole body.

Which is to say, he’s pushed away a few inches and there’s nothing he can do about it.

“You just need us in the circle when it’s done, right?” She asks, more for his benefit than hers, Sasuke thinks. His brain is a bit foggy with—lust, probably, but that feels like defeat to admit.

He’s not usually into  _women._ Then again, he’s not usually into people at all. He can deal. Probably.

“Yeah.” Naruto says, voice—deep. Husky.

It’s familiar enough that Sasuke knows it in his  _bones_ at this point, even if they haven’t been together that long. Naruto was familiar as anything Sasuke’d ever known the  _moment_ they’d met, though, so that’s not saying much.

And everything.

Even though Sasuke’s not—even though Naruto’s not the one he’s sleeping with right now, the blonde is still getting  _all_ of the sex energy and resultant magic he’s producing. Naruto’s not even touching him and still making a meal out of him.

_Fuck._

Sasuke’s pants are tight, blood rushed south, and again: nothing he can do about it.

Sakura crowds him, stepping into his space and keeps stepping, until he has no choice but to step back. His brow furrows in confusion until his back hits a wall, and then all the confusion melts away.

_Oh._

His jaw falls open.

“Did Naruto—Ohh!” Sasuke lets his head thunk back against the wall, eyes squinted shut. Fuck, fuck—

Sakura picked him up as easy as breathing, hands firm on his hips. The strain doesn’t show in her face.

The strain doesn’t show  _at all,_ fuck.

“Oh my god.” He says, breathless and  _wanting._

“No, Naruto did not tell me you like this. It’s obvious to anyone with a functioning brain.” She says, wry.

“ _Fuck_ you—me. Fuck me, oh fuck, fuck me  _please._ ” He gasps as she grinds in slowly, the cushioning of flesh around her pubic bone doing nothing to change how  _hard_ it is pressing into his genitals, quite unlike a hard cock but also fucking amazing, and this time his head thunks back against the wall with more  _force_ and words fail him. Sakura watches, green eyes pleased and intent.

He whines, because she doesn’t  _stop,_ hips moving in small circles but pressure not abating even a  _little,_ a hard and steady press that pins him to the wall, thin fingers supporting his weight with no effort at all—though he can barely even think about that, too focused on—

Shit, that  _pressure,_ so perfect and—

Fuck,  _fuck._

He pants, only then noticing he hasn’t even been  _breathing_ properly, and she’s still watching him, gaze hot and predatory and  _fuck!_

Noise slides out of his throat and along his tongue, one hard sound made entirely of consonants.

It  _hurts_ a little and that just makes it better, makes him need it more, makes his dick spit slick into his underwear and twitch and his balls  _sing_ a bit with pain because she’s not being very discriminate and—

“Hnng,” Sasuke pants, neck bared and toes curling and god, fuck, Naruto had better hurry with the circle or he’s going to  _cry._

He’s got his legs around her waist and her hands are so solid on his thighs, thumbs digging into his hips and—

She stops with the itty bitty circles of grinding torture, switches instead to a steadily increasing pressure, forcing her hips closer and closer to his until it really starts to hurt but going so slowly he can only pant for it, pant and twitch and grit his teeth and curl his toes.

She leans in and kisses him and he takes it happily, gratefully, tilting his head to kiss better and let her lick into his mouth. Their lips slide and it’s great, amazing, until she goes from tanging their tongues to  _fucking_ into his mouth, dirty and slow.

Sakura’s fingers tighten and she pulls back a little only to rut forward, thankfully or rudely not as hard, but matching the rhythm of her tongue  _perfectly._ She sets up a slow, leisurely pace, rocking into him with a casualness that has him wanting to claw at her back—if he could do something other than clutch at her shoulders for dear life—and wanting something  _in_ him, yesterday.

“God, you’re pretty.” Sakura pulls back to say. Sasuke chases her lips for a second before remembering himself, manages to get enough air to laugh.

“You’re  _killing me,_ ” He gasps, and if it’s an exaggeration, well—he has that problem, he knows, but at least it’s not  _much_ of an exaggeration.

“No, I’m not.” She counters instantly. “You’re not  _mine._ ”

_‘Mine’--_

That same tone of voice, only out of  _Naruto’s_ throat, growled into his hip as he’s fingerfucked into a mattress, bitten into his skin as his cock drags against the too-soft bedsheets, as he goes from that to Naruto’s hand to the sheets again, trying to find release and knowing it lies in begging, in swallowing his pride and his arms are shaking, his knees are shaking and he  _wants_ —

Sakura hitches him up, back sliding against the wall, and it drags the head of his dick against her stomach briefly, wet tip catching against his underwear and he moans out, all vowels.

“God, fuck, please,” He gasps, his own fingers clenching harder on her shoulders.

“Do you know how long it took me to get him to beg like that?” Naruto calls out over his shoulder from the other side of the room.

“Mmm, probably not that long.” Sakura says, looking at Sasuke as she says it. Another grin curls the corner of her lips up. “He’s kinda easy.”

Sasuke opens his mouth to protest—ignoring the way that makes his flush approximately twice as red—but it dies in his throat, exhaling as a strangled sound when she  _let’s go of him with one hand._

She brings her free hand to palm at his dick between them, eyebrow raised, and he doesn’t go  _anywhere._ There’s no shift or fumble or any other indication that she’s only holding him with one goddamn hand against the wall like this.

Sasuke pants, every other breath coming out as little ”ah, ah, ah”s but he can’t  _help_ it, she wraps her fingers around his cock and  _pulls_ and it’s as hard as he likes and not hard enough and too little through two layers of fabric but also  _just enough._

“I’m never having sex with a regular human ever again.” He gasps, half-dizzy with lack of air and an influx of pleasure, half laughing and half moaning and half out of his mind with how  _good_ this is.

He’s starting to think something about this stupid house just makes sex  _better;_ it was never like this before. With Naruto, it makes sense, he’s the literal king of sex demons, but this is—it’s  _insane._

Naruto’s laughter rings out, joyous instead of mean, and even Sakura chuckles a little.

“It’s a shame this ritual is geared toward magic instead of strength. We should give you some—augmentations, sometime.” Her voice is husky, hitches when his cock jerks in her hand.

“I’m fine,” He breathes honestly. He doesn’t need to be the one manhandling. Most of the time.

Fuck, everyone in this house is so  _pretty._

Ugh, he sounds like Shisui.

“I want you naked,” Sakura says, and it comes out like a command, but she also looks like she doesn’t want to put him down  _or_ let go of his cock.

He bites his lip for the sound of her voice and lets it go to groan quietly as painless fire  _licks_ along his body, ticklish and lovely and burning away his clothes with no sound or smell or—overbearing—heat, though they are warm and fucking  _tingly_ —

“Thanks,” Sakura grunts, smiling over her shoulder at the resident powerhouse before fixing Sasuke with a look that has him swallowing hard. Her hand hasn’t moved from his dick, still stroking through the fire and wrapping even tighter when his pants and underwear are gone.

His hips buck into the tight fist she makes and barely go  _anywhere,_ one goddamn hand on his hip enough to hold him pretty much firmly in place.

“Jesus  _fuck,_ Sakura!” He curses, trying in vain to rock into her strokes and getting nowhere fast, except maybe closer to  _crazy_ because this is lovely, perfect, a little mean and a lot of torture, sweat rolling down his back and half the muscles in his body clenching  _viciously._

“That’s right, baby,  _feel_ this,” She—fuck,  _orders_ and he’s helpless to obey, eyes shut against how much he strains to move and completely aware of every  _bit_ of his body, from his toes to his calves, brushing against the softness of her exposed sides, to his aching and full dick, the tenseness of his abs and his nipples that feel like points of molten fire.

His back is arched and his hands are free but he can’t  _do_ anything with them, can only hold on desperately as she jerks him, holds him up, presses him into the wall and gets him closer.

Fucking  _fuck!_

She pauses on an upstroke, four fingers wrapped tight around his flesh and thumb pressed against the crown, thumbing where angry-red flesh turns permanent pink, playing with—fuck, his circumcision scar, and he jerks his head back into the wall and groans.

She presses her thumb even firmer, digging into the head now, hard enough to almost hurt while the other fingers stay right where they are. She rubs her thumb into the beaded moisture there, catches it and then rubs little  _circles_ around his urethra, dipping in the slightest bit with her  _nail—_

 _“Fuck!”_ Sasuke says, low and fervent and  _dying._

“Gorgeous,” Sakura breathes and a high, embarrassed sound escapes him. Embarrassed for the way he turns red all over, maybe, flushed under the praise. She probably means how he looks, not how he reacts to her, a measure of his features and not his behavior, except she’s  _owning_ him right now and he can’t—

Owning him as much as she can while acknowledging Naruto is right over there and has prior  _claim._

“Sakura, sweetheart, if you start complimenting him like that he’s not going to make it to the circle,” Naruto chides.

Sakura’s eyes are hot, lips chapped and wet and rocking a devil-may-care expression that shouldn’t be as hot as it is.

“We can go again,” She asserts, and it sounds like ‘I don’t give a fuck’. She hasn’t looked away from him but she does now, glancing down at his cock in her hand and raising an eyebrow.

“ _Sakura,_ ” Naruto says, exasperated and filled with begrudging laughter.

“A little busy, babe.” She strokes him long and slow. There was enough time and words between the last thing and this that he had a chance to breathe again, back up a little from the edge—a very little—but this is the kind of hot and measured stoking that turns bright orange coals into bonfires.

The slowness is its own brand of torture, of not enough, and if she did this shit long enough he thinks he really could cry. She looks intrigued by the way his abs clench, how his eyelashes flutter with trying to keep his eyes open, how his legs shake a little around her.

“Damnit, Sakura, I’m nearly done. Just bring him over here and get him off in the damn circle.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Sakura huffs. Sasuke is entirely unprepared, the words not having caught up yet, for the way she suddenly lets go of his prick and loops that hand around his back. Supporting him with the hand still holding him by the ass—and when had that moved up from his leg? He thinks he would have noticed—and balancing him with the other, they make their way to the center of the room.

Naruto has moved the couch Obito routinely drags half the house onto for sex up against the far wall. The coffee table and the other furniture has been similarly reapportioned.

There’s a circle drawn out in fire and blood, ringed with salt. Sasuke would like to inspect it more—he’s, obviously, never been a part of a ritual before, unlike say Madara who would have had to go through one very early to become a Summoner, and the runes drawn into the floor are going to alter his very  _magic,_ so it’s kind of important—but Sakura lays him gently on the floor and then pushes him down by a hand on his throat until his back is against the runes and his breathing is labored.

Sasuke thinks  _fuck it, I trust Naruto_ and swallows against thin, monstrously strong fingers as they almost lovingly hold him down. It’s possibly the hottest thing that’s happened to him in—

Well, today, at least. If only for novelty’s sake.

Movement out of the corner of his eye lets him know that Naruto is sitting on the red sectional with a hand lazily wrapped around his own tackle, watching the proceedings with great interest.  _That_ ’s new, too—usually if Naruto’s watching him from across the room it’s because Sasuke’s putting on a solo show for his benefit.

Or under his direction.

“Hey,” Sakura says, fingers squeezing a little tighter. “Eyes on me, Uchiha. He’ll get you  _after._ ”

The pressure isn’t anything dangerous, not even cutting off his air—much less his blood supply—but the gesture has him hot and bothered anyway.

“Oh, are we talking to me now?” He asks, because he’s for lack of better terms a  _brat_ and likes to be punished, a little. It’s a fine line that he didn’t always walk so dangerously, before sleeping with the people in this house—it’s thrilling, talking back to one of the nine most powerful demons in creation or the woman with supernatural strength who had him literally by the balls.

That last bit is new but  _certainly_ appreciated, small hand curled tight around his sac and eyes a bit merciless. He knows, somewhere other than his lizard brain, that Naruto won’t let her actually maim him, but that knowledge doesn’t change the sensation of being choked and the visceral sensation of such a sensitive body part being grabbed.

All of his attention is on her.

“I think you  _liked_ being talked around, Uchiha. Think it got you hot.  _Hard._ ”

She gave his throat a parting squeeze before trailing that hand down his sternum, stomach and sliding right before reaching his straining dick to slide along his thigh. Then she removed it.

She squeezed his balls, too, though  _much_ more gently than his neck.

It was the only place she was touching him and  _that_ was another layer to the helplessness.

The reprieve from the stroking of earlier has him several steps back from the edge he was building up to; distractions like the furniture and the ritual circle pulling his mind in other directions than  _orgasm orgasm orgasm._

He has enough room to think about things, her,  _this_ and it’s not tragic, per se, unless you compare it to how  _close_ he was.

“ _Sakura,_ ” he groans, leaning his head back and closing his eyes tightly. It’s easy to say the words as easily as cursing, when he’s just asking for morefasterharderplease, but asking for something he’s not getting is a different animal entirely, has bright color rushing up his cheeks and down his neck.

“Yes?” She asks, squeezing rhythmically now, rolling arguably the most vulnerable part of his body in her palm, between her fingers.

“ _Please,_ ” He gasps, bucking his hips a bit and being  _stunned_ when they actually move, given the way he was pinned earlier. Her hand pointedly  _doesn’t_ and the pull is almost a yank and also his own goddamn fault and he  _yells,_ a bit, at the sting.

“Dumbass.” She says, releasing him. He pants, chest rising and falling as he tries to get enough air. He’s got his feet planted on the ground and legs splayed a bit. She’s off to his side rather than straddling him, and a lot of his brain is insisting that he’d like to be  _covered_ by all that milky soft skin, that she should be on top of him and pinning him down and making him beg  _prettier._

Instead she bends over him, sitting with her knees tucked under her body, and asks, “How do you want to come?”

For a second Sasuke can’t think beyond  _why aren’t you touching me_ and  _how the fuck does abstract cognition work._

He ends up with “Come  _here,_ ” and makes grabby hands until he can get his hands on her hips, pull her close and over him until he can feel her weight, satisfying pressure along the line of their bodies connecting.

He gets kissed.

“You have no idea what you want,” Sakura realizes, murmurs into his lips, pulling back a fraction to do it. It’s not a question and she laughs.

“ _Touch_ me,” He argues. He knows he wants that much, at least. She obliges.

Sakura shifts until she’s got her knees on either side of his hips, which is absolutely not how Sasuke usually has people on top of him—usually his legs are spread and they’re  _between_ them—and she sits up so she can trail her hands down his chest.

He doesn’t complain, arching a bit into the touch, loving the relatively careful weight of her groin on his. She got to keep her bra and jeans, whether because her aura protected her clothes or because Naruto hadn’t wanted to presume, and he’s not sure whether to be grateful or not.

When she trails her fingers lightly along his cock, it twitches to attention and magic  _rises_ from the circle, surging through him and making him cry out, shocked.

She wraps her hand around him and the circle responds, thrumming under his skin like a war drum with each push and pull along his length.

“This ritual is always fun,” Sakura says, and he can both barely hear her and barely hear anything else, focused on scant else. “Because the people doing it? Don’t know how fun ritual magic can be.”

She squeezes hard and the magic nearly  _chokes_ him, pressing against his ribs from the inside. It feels good and it feels like he’s being eaten alive, rewritten.

“The official recommendation is  _always_ to make this your first ritual. It can only be done as a first ritual, and it’s so much more  _rewarding_ than some mundane magical communion. Plus, orgasms.”

Every time precum builds at the tip of his dick, she swipes a thumb over it, drags it down to smooth the way. It’s not enough, but not painful either, the hint of roughness helping him climb back to where he was against the wall.

The jeans she’s wearing feel good against his legs, solid thighs on either side of them and rubbing as she uses her whole body to stroke, free hand going back to his balls and tugging just a little, in time with her hand on him, sliding and tight and nice. Magic builds up around them, inside him, an ebb and flow to match her motions.

Sweat breaks out against his temple.

“Do you want to come like this?” She asks, sounding mostly curious.

“I want something  _in me,_ ” Sasuke says without thinking about it, a kneejerk reaction. Green eyes go  _hot,_ molten emerald.

“Roll over, then.”

“Oh, fuck.” Sasuke complies. There’s a bit of shuffling and then he’s on his knees and she’s trailing fingers over the back of his thighs, gentle and warm.

“We need lube.” Sakura says, voice pitched to make it obvious who she’s talking to.

“Oh, no,” Drawls Naruto badly. “Nothing can go in or out of the circle until the ritual is complete.”

He laughs, a bit breathless.

“Guess you’ll have to think of something.”

“I’m going to  _kick your ass_ when the ritual is complete.” Sakura promises, and the laugh turns into a surprised moan. Part of Sasuke wants to look to see how Naruto touched himself to produce that sound.

 _Most_ of him is paying attention to Sakura, the way her thumb is rubbing his hole while the rest of her fingers splay out at the small of his back. It’s a soothing and inflaming motion, absently done as she argues with his boyfriend.

He shivers.

Sakura leans to one side, stretches an arm out and then long thin fingers are right in front of his mouth.

“Not to sound like a bad fanfiction—“ Fifteen feet away, Naruto  _barks_ out surprised laughter, “And I wouldn’t be doing this if I planned to fuck you properly, but  _suck._ ”

He flushes all  _over._

Sasuke opens his mouth and sucks them in, belatedly running his tongue over them.

“Oh,” Says Sakura with some surprise. “Nice and obedient.”

The praise has him moaning around his mouthful. He very abruptly wishes she had a dick and it was in his  _mouth,_ which is not a new sensation—he’s very oral and honest enough with himself to know that he likes giving blowjobs approximately twice as much as receiving them—but is a bit distracting.

Her free hand continues to stroke his hole, teasing brushes of fingertips and callused finger pads, never more than the barest brush of nails; it’s not a dick but he’s still glad to have something in his mouth, heavy on his tongue.

“That should be good,” Sakura decides, pulling her fingers. She pauses to thrust them back  _in_ a little bit, gathering saliva and making sure they’re good and wet.

“This is where we pretend the all-powerful being over there can’t conjure lube into this circle or, for that matter, directly into your ass without blinking.”

Sasuke huffs out a laugh.

“I like it a little rough.” He admits.

“Noo,” Sakura drawls, sarcastic. “Really? I’d never be able to tell.”

He starts to retort and then she trails  _wet_ fingers over his hole, massaging. Teasing. He moans, pressing back into her.

“God, you’re gay.” Sakura says, amused.

“Really, really gay.” Sasuke agrees readily. Because he’s not Shisui he swallows the  _finger me until I cry._

“Mmm” Sakura hums, pleased, as she presses just a little bit harder without slipping in. Sasuke’s breath hitches.

It’s so slow and purposeful that everything feels—highlighted. Obvious. He can’t think of the words, can hardly think  _in_ words, and it’s like a slow-motion scene in a movie where he’s hyperaware of her every movement and his every nerve ending.

Magic, dark and red and  _sweet_ flows into him, around him, singing with his blood. It pulses in time to his heart beat, feels like he’s channeling it for a spell, racing along the appropriate pathways. Only—there’s nowhere for it to go, trapped in him and the circle. He starts to feel  _full._

There’s so much energy flowing into him that he’s dizzy with it.

Sakura presses a finger into him and it’s like the world stops.

Then it starts back up again, tripping into twice as fast and taking his pulse along with it.

“Oh, fuck,  _please,_ ” Sasuke begs, palms slipping a little on the floor. He opens his eyes to see runes and markings etched into it, glowing red and bright.

Naruto will occasionally rub a finger into him dry, sometimes two just for the hell of it, let him feel the burn and the rough stretch before fetching the lube or, more commonly, just  _willing_ it into being already on his fingers.

This isn’t—quite—like that. There’s a bit of slick, just enough to make it  _more,_ make his body take notice of the shape of her finger. It helps that Naruto had fucked him open on his fat cock not two hours ago.

Sasuke pants, legs spread wide and spreading a bit wider. The floor is hard under his knees and he  _loves_ this, loves the soft hand on his asscheek as Sakura soothes while she presses  _into_ him with the other, pulls her finger out and slowly thrusts back in.

Normally, being fingered is great. One of his favorite things. This time, he’s paying so much attention to the pressure that he doesn’t notice what’s immediately different: the magic the circle’s been feeding into him ebbs to almost nothing, pulling out in time with Sakura like how the ocean  _takes_ the tide before a Tsunami—rearing back and then delivering that and  _more_ when she pushes into him again.

His arms buckle. He catches himself on his forearms, dropping down a good foot and  _shouting,_ ragged and  _ruined_ by the wave of it, crashing into his magic and his pathways. It’s overwhelming, amazing, awful, too much.

Sakura fucks him through it; she adds another finger and  _that_ distracts him from the magic, shoves him right back into paying attention to his ass. He gets to enjoy it for maybe two seconds before she  _thrusts_ into him and magic thrusts with her, pushing him to rock forward and then rock back on her fingers.

Pleasure and magic get tangled up inside him, a cascade of  _yes,_ please and  _fuck._

He’s shaking with it, trembling constantly, and doesn’t notice until Sakura lays her free hand flat on his spine to calm him. Her fingers are splayed. She splays the ones in his ass, too, making him  _bark_ out a moan at the stretch and the feel. He’s hot all over, inside and out, and his dick is like a burning rod.

The hand at his back migrates to his hip, grabs hold and makes his body move counterpoint as she pulls out of him and rocks back in, gentle pressure against his walls as she angles downward, grazes his prostate in a way that has him crying out, eyes squeezed shut.

“You’re doing so good,” Sakura murmurs, quiet and complimenting. “Look at you, so pretty and good for me.”

He  _whines,_ aching and shaking and dick so hard he might die. It feels like if he comes, when he comes, pure magic might spurt out instead of come. Nothing makes sense in his head, or outside of it, and he just wants to get  _off._

He thrusts back onto her fingers, chasing pleasure, and receives it easily. She hits his prostate with every thrust now and each slide against it throws even more magic into the mix.

“The longer we draw this out, the better the orgasm, the more magic flows through you. It’s widening your pathways, stretching out your core. Do you feel it?”

“Yes!” Sasuke shouts, surprised he can even speak. His voice sounds hoarse to his own ears.

“You’ll have more magic in general, be able to use more at once without hurting yourself. Do you want that?”

“I  _can’t,_ ” He finds himself shouting, voice breaking.

“You  _can,_ ” Sakura argues, turning her hand on a particularly rough thrust that has him gasping, sobbing a little before he can manage to see past the throb of red in his vision, the light from the circle glowing so bright it hurts his eyes.

“ _Please,_ ” He begs, nonsense spilling out. “Please, please, fuck me, let me have it, get me  _off!”_

“ _Fuck,_ that’s gorgeous.” Sakura gasps out, twisting her fingers in him. They reach just that much further, spark against his prostate for a just that much longer, and he  _screams,_ desperate and wanting.

“Sakura!” He yells, half demand and half plea.

“We’re not  _done,_ ” She pants, and the hand that’s been moving him by the hip vanishes only to be replaced with a sharp sudden  _pain_ on the other side of his body, a resounding smack sending a red-hot wave of magic and pleasure flowing from the impact point.

“Did you  _smack my ass?_ ” He manages, dredging strength from somewhere deep to push back up onto his hands. His forearms, pressed to the floor beneath him for some time, complain about the comparatively cold air.

“I can pull you into my lap and spank you some time, if that’s what you like!” She threatens. It shouldn’t make him moan but it does, largely because he’s a masochist and she’s still fingerfucking him, two fingers pressing against the walls of his ass and he’ll  _never_ get tired of how that feels, loves this to the point of  _stupidity,_ forgets whatever they’re talking about in favor of clenching down on the invading digits and choking on a groan that comes out as another  _shout_ when pleasure whites his vision for a moment.

“ _Please_ get me off,” He begs.

She huffs.

“You literally only get one shot at this, pretty boy. Stop being so impatient.”

“I’m going to  _explode._ ”

“You’ll be fine,” She dismisses, clearly ignorant to the way he feels stuffed  _full_ of magic, buoyed behind the ribs and in his lungs, throat strained, every inch of skin stretched too tight and it’s starting to  _hurt._

He shifts his weight onto his left hand so he can curl his right around his leaking dick. If he hasn’t got fluid on the carefully-etched ruins, it’ll be a miracle, but since they’re also pressing sweaty body parts to it he figures they were designed with bodily fluids in mind.

“Do  _not_ come until I say you can,” Sakura says, punctuating the command with a slow and  _hard_ thrust. He nearly cries at the  _relief_ getting a hand on himself brings, the way it both eases the pleasure-pain of being so physically and metaphysically full and also makes it less sharp, more spread out.

His dick no longer feels like a thousand-degree spear. Instead, the heat lessens and  _spreads,_ quickly becoming almost uncomfortable as it flares under his skin, leaving no square inch of him untouched.

He goes from holding himself up on his left hand to his left forearm, ducking his head and chin and  _working_ his right hand, glad he’s so slick from everything else because he wouldn’t be able to go slower, can’t even think of stopping, so desperate he might be embarrassed later.

The magic is like a  _fire,_ like licking flames and the heat of the motherfucking  _sun,_ and he feels it build in him with his orgasm as he thrusts into his own hand and back onto Sakura’s.

He feels stretched out and splayed open, even as he clenches down on Sakura’s fingers and fucking  _spasms_ around her, another shout  _wrenching_ its way out of his throat.

“I’m going to fuck you  _properly_ later!” Sakura yells, nearly  _growls._ “I’ve got magic cocks that will let me plow this pretty hole and let me  _feel_ it, let you feel  _me_ when I come all over you, inside you, make you  _beg_ for it!”

“Yes, Sakura, fuck—  _please._ ”

“I’m going to fuck you and you’re going to  _love_ it.” She swears, and she slows down and speeds up the thrusts randomly, stretches her fingers apart inside him and barely moves at all every so often so he can’t get  _used_ to it, can’t go a little numb to the rhythm and stop feeling it properly.

She knows what she’s doing and it’s  _hot,_ fucking amazing.

“Please!” He says again, hoarse and broken and his throat is dry, his body is flushed and he’s sweating, magic just under his skin like it’s going to rip out of him, consume him in a real fire that he can’t escape. Like he’s going to combust and burn, a phoenix—not because he’ll survive it, but because Naruto will  _bring him back_ if he dares to die, furious and eyes like blue fire, power and light and  _love_ shining in him brighter than any star—

Heat, almost unbearable, sucks up into him through the circle. He’s dizzy, vision blurring, and when he closes his eyes the sensations seem to somehow fucking  _double_ and there are goddamn fireworks, or the circle, glowing white-hot under him—

Sakura pulls out two fingers and shoves in with three, a stretch that has him  _screaming,_ long and loud and helpless and his palm spasms against the head of his cock on that upstroke, his balls  _ache_ —

“ _Now,_ ” Sakura snarls, sounding furious and she  _turns_ her fingers in him, big and stretching and directly against his prostate.

His orgasm tears out of him—he thinks he might still be screaming—the circle is lit with white fire that shines through his closed eyes, blinding—

\--It feels like he’s coming  _apart_ at the seams, like his soul is  _leaving_ his body—

\--Somewhere, Sakura shouting—  _Naruto_ shouting—

Black.

A softer black.

A gentle touch to the eyelids, light as butterfly wings.

He can’t move a hand to bat the annoying sensation away.

Naruto’s voice murmuring “I told you  _not_ to break him.”

Another voice, vaguely familiar: ”Whoops,” Not sounding sorry at all.

A few minutes later he finds the Herculean strength to open his eyelids.

Naruto, leaning over him without putting any weight on him—thank god—looking like the stories of Lucifer, blonde and blue eyed and heart-breakingly beautiful.

Alright, that’s how Sasuke knows he’s been fucked out of his mind.

It’s a stupidly common occurrence in this goddamn house.

“Does my reputation as an unflappable, cool-headed badass mean nothing to you?” He grumbles.

“That’s adorable.” Sakura says sincerely. "No, really. Tobirama lives here, and Sasuke thinks he’s the stoic one.”

“Hush, he lasted longer than almost everyone in the magical communion. We’re proud of him, remember?”

Sasuke groans and would roll over if he had the energy.

Wait.

“Why am I on Obito’s orgasm couch?”

They burst out laughing, the unsympathetic traitors.

“Nearest comfortable flat surface.” Naruto assures him, almost gentle.

Sasuke scowls at him.

“I expect it back at  _some_ point today!” Obito’s voice calls out, distant enough to not be in the same room.

“Somebody flip him off for me, I can’t raise my arm.”

“He’ll be fine.” Naruto says to Sakura.

“Yeah, I figured. That ritual’s never managed to  _kill_ anyone before.”

“Sasuke’s special,” Naruto smiles. “If anyone could manage it…”

“I’m glad he  _didn’t_ die on me. It seemed like he might, the overdramatic little shit.”

“I’m right here, you know.” Sasuke protests half-heartedly. He can summon lightning out of a clear sky at noon but he can't summon a fuck to give about their antics.

His  _skin_ feels raw, inside and out. Like a sunburn and the aftermath of a face-mask all at once, dialed up to eleven.

“The good news is, it worked!” Naruto announces cheerfully.

“Oh. Good.” Sasuke loses the struggle against unconsciousness, heavy eyelids slipping shut once more.

“You know, for the most powerful  _storm mage_ in over a hundred years, he’s…”

Sasuke dozes off to the sound of Sakura speaking to his boyfriend, and the comforting and soothing pull of Naruto’s fingers brushing gently through his hair.

He’ll thank them tomorrow.


	2. No one can resist the siren song of Obito's orgasm couch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aka Kat does a cheap porno of the Sasuke/Obito variety.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A note of warning before I hit you with my terribly trashy porn: In this AU incubi/succubi can give themselves whatever genitals they want, be it one or the other or both at once, and Obito takes full advantage of that here.

“My boyfriend is making me talk about _feelings_ ,” Sasuke complains, sinking down squarely in Obito's lap.

Sprawled out on the couch, Obito lazily opens one eye. “What a tragedy. Break up with him immediately.”

“Or don’t!” Naruto shouts from the direction of the bedrooms. “And if you’re going to fuck remember Shisui is bringing his new friend over!”

Sasuke pulls a face at him, leaning forward to brace his hands on the cushion on either side of Obito's head. “Like you’re any better?” he asks, unimpressed. “Someone says the L word and you break out in hives.”

“I’m an incubus. I do sex, not feelings,” Obito says archly, and wiggles his hips to feel Sasuke's weight on him. “What do you want?”

“I could eat you out,” Sasuke suggests, voice dropping to the register that means he’s trying to be sexy.

Obito raises a brow, still not impressed. “Sasuke, do you even know what to _do_ with a clit?”

There's bright heat rising in Sasuke's cheeks. “Fuck you, I've been with Sakura.”

“Sakura with the magic strap-on dick and the penchant for riding people’s faces until she comes?”

Sasuke groans. “Just—fucking spread your legs and let me lick your pussy.”

“Well, when you ask so nicely,” Obito drawls, but he widens his legs and lets Sasuke slide down his body. He doesn’t _need_ to feed right now—he pretty much never needs to feed in this house, because everyone is having sex all the time and the spillovers alone could keep him sated for a year—but he’s never one to turn down a tumble, especially with someone who feels the same way he does about bringing fucking _emotions_ into things.

“You know,” he says, hooking a leg over Sasuke's shoulder. “ _I_ could always ride your face until I come.”

Sasuke gives him the evil eye, though the effect is slightly ruined by the flush in his cheeks and the way his breath is coming faster. His fingers skim Obito's cock, then slide down to trace his folds, and he swallows before he manages, “Shut up and take it, asshole.”

Obito laughs, tipping his head back, and pushes his hands into Sasuke's hair as the first hot breath hits him. He groans at the shiver that runs though him, and pointedly refrains from grinding up into Sasuke's face. “What, you want me to lie back and think of Hell?”

“Will it make you _stop talking_?” Sasuke grouches, but he drags his thumbs across Obito's pussy, then dips one in, rubbing lightly. When Obito hisses, hips jerking, he laughs, and Obito will never tell him, but that particular rasp his voice gets when he’s getting into things really is sexy.

“Only if you're a fuck-ton better than I think you are,” Obito retorts, and then immediately loses his next insult on a cry as Sasuke drags his folds apart and licks him. He tries not to clamp his thighs around Sasuke's head as a tongue immediately pushes into him, twists as Sasuke pushes a thumb up to rub his clit, and fuck but Obito can feel himself getting wet, a wash of heat between his thighs that makes him groan, but in an instant the sensation is gone. Sasuke licks across his opening, tongues his clit, and rides the involuntary buck of Obito's hips as he cries out again.

“Verdict?” he asks slyly, and his dark eyes are wicked.

“Shut up and put your damned mouth on me,” Obito gasps, shoving his head back down.

Sasuke laughs, the little bastard, but he licks into Obito again, seals his mouth over him and sucks, and Obito swallows a cry. The press of Sasuke's tongue is back a moment later, just the tip pushing in, lapping lightly, so lightly Obito thinks he’s going to go insane with it. He whines, high and needy, curls his fingers further into Sasuke's hair.

“Come on, come on,” he hisses, “Oh, fuck, right—ah!”

He pulls away _again_ , and Obito was mostly joking before but if Sasuke doesn’t start applying himself Obito really is going to ride his face.

Like the brat he is, Sasuke hums, wiping his lips. “You're really wet,” he says, and one long finger slides right into Obito's cunt, making him gasp and clamp down on it. Obito whimpers, and then has to strangle a shout when Sasuke sucks gently on his clit, finger stroking inside of him. The too-hot, shivery force of it is spilling through Obito's body, making him tremble, and as Sasuke laps at him the slick sound of it is loud, obvious. Obito whines low in his throat, gripping Sasuke's hair as he jerks, thighs tightening around his head.

“Mm,” Sasuke hums, right against his clit, and Obito's hips practically leave the couch as he tries to wrench that taunting mouth closer.

Instead, he gets a laugh, and another finger slides into him, impossibly slow until it’s fully buried, and Obito whimpers as they crook carefully inside him, dragging over nerves that make him twitch and tremble.

“Sasuke,” he manages, entirely breathless but aiming for demanding. “Sasuke, fuck, keep fucking _doing that_ —”

Sasuke makes a wrecked, hungry sound and shoves Obito's legs apart, pushing in closer. He mouths at Obito's cunt, suckles in teasing bursts that wrench a sob from Obito's throat. Rocking into each pull of Sasuke's mouth, into the long, flat-tongued licks that drag across his folds, he throws his head back, moaning, twisting to get _more_.

“Fuck,” Sasuke hisses, and Obito has just enough attention to spare to catch the hand he slides down the front of his boxers. He thinks for a heartbeat about telling Sasuke to just take him, to slide up and push into him and come inside of him, but then Sasuke's tongue pushes even deeper into him, curls around his fingers and makes Obito's back bow hard enough to leave the couch, and the thought shatters into fragments. Obito comes, desperately shoving against Sasuke's mouth and clamping down around his twisting fingers as the ripples shake through him, and he catches his breath on a sob as Sasuke _keeps going_.

“Oooh,” he manages. “Sasuke— _Sasuke_ —”

Sasuke moans in answer, circling his fingers, spreading and stroking and licking around Obito's entrance until he’s shaking, gasping for breath he can't quite catch and losing it on fractured cries. A thumb slides up across his cunt, pressing at his clit, all but worrying the nerves there, and Obito practically shrieks. He can feel the spiraling heat of another orgasm about to crest, but the slide of fingers into him, the mouth on him—neither even pauses, and he’s so oversensitive that this time the pleasure has _teeth_.

With a groan, Sasuke presses his cheek to Obito's thigh, dark eyes staring up at him so full of heat that Obito can't quite breathe. “You're going to ruin the couch if you keep dripping like this,” he says, rough and low, and thrusts his fingers in with a wet sound that drags a gasp from Obito just as much as the motion itself. He throws his head back and whines, trying to will shaking legs to curl around Sasuke and pull him back in, but those fingers push in as deep as they can go, rub in wide, dragging circles that make Obito keen. He twists on the cushions, hands tangled in black hair, and Sasuke presses hard on his clit and he’s _gone_ , spasming apart again under the force of Sasuke's mouth.

“Fuck,” Obito whines when he can finally manage to string two thoughts together. There are still aftershocks rippling through him, but something itches, and when he manages to focus his eyes he glances down. Sasuke is bent over him, gasping into his stomach as he desperately strokes himself, and Obito shivers at the sight of his flushed, dripping cock. It takes almost all of his effort, but he jerks a leg, kneeing Sasuke lightly in the ribs, and rasps, “What the fuck are you doing, wasting that? Give it to me.”

Sasuke gasps, high and breathy and almost a whine, and Obito laughs, feeling lazy and blissed out. He tugs on Sasuke's shoulder, urging him up, and when the man collapses on top of him, he slides a hand down to take a hold of his cock. With a desperate cry, Sasuke ruts into his hand, but Obito hums soothingly as he guides Sasuke's dick between his legs.

“Look how hard you are,” he breathes, dragging the swollen head over his slick folds and shuddering at the feel of it. “Oh fuck, you're going to feel so good inside me, filling me up. Think you can make me come again, Sasuke? Think you can last that long inside my pussy?”

Burying his face in Obito's chest, Sasuke shivers all over, hips bucking. The tip of his cock presses in, just starting to push through Obito's folds before he forces himself still. “I don’t—lube,” he manages to gasp out, and Obito laughs.

“You're so damned gay,” he says, somewhere between fond and exasperated. “Sasuke, I'm so fucking wet right now I could probably take two dicks without a problem.”

Sasuke makes a high, almost pained noise. “ _Fuck_ ,” he whispers, and swallows. “You—next time you're hungry—”

Obito hums agreeably, knowing exactly what he wants and more than happy to give it to him. “You and Naruto can share me,” he suggests, letting his fingers trail up and down Sasuke's shaft. “But for right now, your dick is just as pretty as the rest of you and I want it in me.”

He can _see_ the smart remark coming, and rather than let Sasuke's ego inflate, he drops one leg over the side of the couch, presses down, and lets the head of Sasuke's cock slip into him. With a fluttery moan, he arches his back, feeling the thick, unyielding shaft push through, slide deep. Sasuke is so hard, and every inch inside him is perfect, exactly what Obito needs. Coming from someone’s mouth or hands is _amazing_ , but Obito is an incubus and this is what he was _made for_.

Sasuke bottoms out with a cry, folding forward and practically collapsing on Obito's chest. “Oh god, fuck. You're—hng. So fucking _soft_ , fuck.”

Obito laughs breathlessly, closing his eyes and just letting the pleasure ripple through him in waves. He’s so sensitive it’s on the very edge of pain, and it’s _perfect_. Carefully, he shifts, whimpering as Sasuke's cock moves inside of him, and his muscles clamp down involuntary, making him gasp. Sasuke grunts, desperate, and pulls back, shoving forward hard, and Obito jerks at the feel of that hardness slamming in. Another sharp thrust, and Sasuke groans, gets his arms under him and makes the next one even harder, enough to slide Obito up a few inches on the cushions.

“Going to—fucking make you _scream_ ,” he gasps out, and Obito can only approve. He wraps his arms around Sasuke's neck and hangs on, each sharp thrust wringing a cry from him. The hunger he normally keeps buried is rising, surging to the surface as Sasuke desperately chases his orgasm. Pleasure is cresting again, clear and sharp and burning hot, and Obito rolls his hips up into each hard thrust, feels Sasuke's cock push deep through clamping muscles and make every nerve ending in his body blaze.

With a groan, Sasuke buries his face in the curve of Obito's shoulder, reaching down to grab his thighs with both hands. He pulls up just as he drives in, and the change in angle tears a shattering cry from Obito's throat as he arches, lightning scattering through his veins. Fingers slide between them, dragging over his folds even as Sasuke thrusts, and the tangled sensations make Obito twist desperately, shoving back—

Sasuke presses a thumb to his clit, bottoms out with one hard thrust, and twists his finger, and Obito really does scream, every muscle clamping down. He comes, a wave of drowning pleasure that pulls him under even as heat floods him. Heavy on his tongue, he can _taste_ Sasuke's orgasm, the wrenching, aching _relief_ of it as it’s dragged from him. Sasuke sobs into his skin, breathless and shaking, and collapses completely with a groan.

Obito closes his eyes, enjoying the shivery silver ripples that slide through him, the ache in his cunt, the stretch of Sasuke still inside of him. His muscles are still fluttering, and he feels sated and _good_.

“Mm,” he manages after a long handful of minutes. “Okay, maybe you do know what to do with a clit. Fuck.”

Sasuke's breath catches, and his cock twitches inside of Obito, who moans, startled but willing. He rocks down, tries to take Sasuke deeper—

There's a low chuckle from the doorway. “Not that I object to the show, but we’ve got a date, don’t we?”

Obito opens one eye to give Kisame a lazy smile. “But he’s so cute, you just compliment him, tell him how good he is at making me lose my damn mind— _ngh_.” Another twitch, and Obito is _very_ interested in all the possibilities. He squirms happily, curling one leg over Sasuke's ribcage, and eyes Kisame speculatively. “We could totally take advantage of the fact that Naruto _clearly_ doesn’t praise him enough—”

With an offended huff, Naruto pokes his head out of the hall. “I praise him plenty! He’s always so good for me, how could I not?”

Sasuke groans, and Obito's breath catches at the feel of him slowly hardening. “Oh,” he moans, and it comes out breathier than he intends but he’s riding the wave of Sasuke's renewed arousal, swept along—

“Save some for me, bastard,” Naruto says, and there's a fox-grin to go with wicked blue eyes. “I was planning to ride you into the mattress later.”

“Fuck, I'm going to _die_ ,” Sasuke groans, but he heaves himself up, pulling out, and Obito makes a noise of wordless complaint at the fact that he’s suddenly _empty_.

Then there are big hands on him, sliding under his back and beneath his knees, and Kisame picks him up as easily as if he’s a kitten instead of a fully-grown sex demon. “My turn,” he say, and tips his head down to kiss Obito carefully but thoroughly. “I still want to take you swimming in the ocean.”

Kisame at the ocean means Obito has a better than good chance of being fucked in the surf, and he would never object to that. “I guess I could be convinced,” he says, like he isn’t already leaning into Kisame's chest, more than happy to be taken just about anywhere.

“Good luck topping this,” Sasuke says languidly, waving a vague hand at the couch in general.

With a rumbling laugh, Kisame hefts Obito up to casually hold him with one arm, making Obito’s breath catch, and says, “I shift partway and I can hit both holes at once. Kid, you’ve got a ways to go before you're on my level.”

Sasuke makes a noise that doesn’t know whether it’s offended, annoyed, or intrigued, and Obito laughs at the look on his face as Kisame drags him away to the shower.


	3. Insani-tea, get it while it's hot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first time Rin meets Obito.
> 
> A Tim chapter.
> 
> Pairing: Kakashi/Rin/Obito.
> 
> (Ft. Trans!Rin getting bottom 'surgery' the magical way, because free magical sex changes are half the point of knowing powerful sex demons and gods. If this squicks you out feel free to give it a miss.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Fun fact. I wrote this in a few hours, just now. It's going up super wet. Expect edits tomorrow, when I can see straight. But I'm tossing it up now because if it ruined my sleep, it can ruin at least a few of ya'll's, too.
> 
> Cheers!

Rin shifts up, so hot and hard in his hand and Kakashi groans like it’s dragged out of him. Obito laughs hotly into the skin of his shoulder, rubbing the pads of his fingers over the head of her cock while Kakashi strokes, sliding the skin of the digits over red flesh in a lewd motion that wouldn’t look out of place against a g-spot.

“Fucking _fuck_ ,” Rin gasps out, out of breath and glassy eyed, flushed pink lips dropped open to accommodate her panting. She’s got her back flush against Obito’s chest, the long line of his cock against her bare ass through his sweat pants.

The drag against the fabric and the sweet, sweet weight of her, held so carefully up in his lap, is a ridiculously fucking intoxicating combination. Obito’s got several fingers tangled in silver hair, Kakashi’s forehead resting sweaty and helpless at Rin’s shoulder as she works his pants open, clever little hands with surgeon strength and finesse and cute purple nails.

She makes quick work of his jeans, reaching in and wrapping a sure hand around him—Obito can feel it, moans in time with Kakashi as a wave of pleasure rolls over them both, as Kakashi’s hand jerks in time with his cock, throwing off his rhythm on hers.

Obito’s hand slides off before she can do more than protest, nails digging into the soft, powerful muscle of her thigh and the fingers of the other hand tightening _painfully_ in Kakashi’s hair before he can make himself let go. The sharp pull shivers down his spine, gives the pleasure _claws_ for a moment, and Obito’s fingers relax from bared mirrors of it to shift, to hold her still while he _ruts_ against her ass a couple times, pressing against flesh with the perfect amount of _give_ to it, sliding along perfect curve to cleft, and she moans for him.

“Treat the lady _right_ , Kakashi,” Obito huffs, half laughing at his own joke when he has the presence of mind to think again. He uses the hand in their lap to guide Kakashi’s back to Rin’s thick, lovely cock where it juts out from brown curls, walks him through a few strokes before allowing that hand to trail along her soft skin, rest holding her hip with a thumb against the back of her pelvis.

The other he uses to slide down, out of Kakashi’s hair, stifling a complaining protest with his lips when his new grip—the back of the man’s neck—allows Obito to pull him in for a kiss, pliant and hot.

Rin’s head thumps back against Obito’s shoulder, moans sweet close enough to his ear to give him gooseflesh, and little breathy noises spill out of her throat while Kakashi works her. Obito’s own hips thrust jaggedly, noise catching in the back of his throat every time Kakashi's thumb works her head on an upstroke. It’s perfect, pleasure so sharp it’s almost _mean_ , and they have just enough time to enjoy the rest of the stroke before it hits again.

Obito tries not to shake too much as he kisses Kakashi, contains it to a little twitch in excitement instead of a full body shudder, dregs together enough reference of mind to fuck his tongue into Kakashi’s mouth lazy and slow, the same way Rin’s gentle hands are rolling up and down Kakashi’s cock. The counterpoint of dual pleasures has heat rising too fast in Obito’s middle, hot blood rushing through him laced lousy with excess sexual energy, his face is _hot_ —

Even as it builds into too much, _too much_ , _too soon_ , one of Rin’s hands drops from Kakashi’s cock to palm his balls gently, and Obito breaks off from the kiss to take in a huge lungful of air, shouting out sound when she pulls them, just a little, rhythmic with her strokes and Kakashi’s wrist spasms on an upstroke, the head of Rin’s flushed cock catching _just right_ on the ball of his thumb, skating off his palm entirely but not before Rin’s cock _barks_ out precome for it, spitting slick in time with Obito’s.

Wet paints the head of his cock and the inside of his sweats, the soft fabric even less of a relief to rub against now that it’s soaked through.

The muscles of his ass clench and make him want to clench something _else_ , his thoughts hazy but more than appreciative of the two fine cocks on display here, even if the angle is terrible and he’s mostly feeling along with both of them instead of seeing. Obito wants something _in_ him, wants the as-yet _untried_ taste of Rin’s slick on his tongue, the warm weight of her sliding into the back of his throat. Wants—wants—Rin’s little hands have _no_ mercy on Kakashi’s ballsack, those tiny maddening pulls happening faster if he thrusts up faster into her fist. He’s bringing his palm back to Rin’s cock by now, and maybe she’s punishing him for stopping—she was close, they all are, and Obito shivers with her as the _slicked-wet_ palm of Kakashi’s hand presses cold and flush against her shaft.

“Oh, god.” Kakashi gasps, strangled sounding. Obito laughs, hoarse as anything. Between them Rin makes an impatient noise, thrusting into Kakashi’s loose fist with a whine of _complaint_. He obligingly tightens it, then flutters the fingers of his fist in a way that has a distracting sensation-- it’s not unlike being _tickled_ , complete with the resultant breathlessness--

“ _Kakashi_ ,” Rin growls, and Obito _and_ Kakashi _keen_ for the purposeful, almost-too-painful drag of sharp nails along the underside of his shaft.

Obito’s hips spasm into her ass.

“Oh, hells.” He laughs, breathless. “We should get mean little witches between us more often.”

He buries his face in her arm and holds on through the heat of it as Kakashi’s hand speeds up.

Rin makes an _animal_ noise, one of the human animal noises that mortals make when they’re _living_ in their flesh and their pleasure instead of despite it, and it goes right to his cock. He _loves_ this, loves the feel and the smell of it, the heights souls and magic and energy hit in the throes of passion.

“You should get mean little witches _off_ between you more often!” Rin demands, thrusting her hips and hissing out dismay when it manages to throw off Kakashi’s rhythm.

“Sorry, sorry,”

Kakashi builds back up to his previous speeds with lazy strokes, each faster than the last. Rin bares her teeth at him.

“Impatient, sweetheart?” Obito murmurs into her ear, letting go of Kakashi entirely to bring both hands to her hips from behind. He shudders a little more and presses his cock against her.

He wants out of these sweats in the worst way, but he’ll be damned twice before he dislodges the pretty woman in his lap to yank them down. He holds her still for the next few pumps of Kakashi’s fist, lets go only when she snaps at him, and he's bludgeoned with the fact that the last few steps to her peak are suddenly murky and indistinct—

Obito trails his hands down her thighs instead, spread on either side of his. It sets her back on track to a truly spectacular orgasm, her hair sticking to both their necks as her body _demands_ more.

Kakashi whines when she’s too close to keep playing with his tackle, both her hands falling to claw at Obito’s wrists instead, but his eyes are silver and intense on the way her head keeps slipping red and angry through his thumb and forefinger, slicking the way for the rest.

A groan builds low in his throat that echoes in Obito’s chest.

“Do you like being fingered?” He breathes, letting his hands slide back to kneed her asscheeks, thumb pressing into one perfect dimple.

“Not _really_.”

“Fair enough. Do you want to be in me, in him? Finish in a tighter _heat_?”

Kakashi obligingly squeezes his fist tighter on that downstroke, makes Rin _arch_ forward beautifully and lose her breath as her hips stutter.

“N-no,” She grunts, eyes squinted tight and jaw lowered, panting out breath and trying so hard to get there that she’s actively sabotaging herself. Kakashi makes a sound of displeasure.

“Hey, none of that,” Obito smooths out the wrinkle between her brows and she half-sobs with frustration, elbowing him harshly.

It’s the work of a moment to reach out with his senses, primed as they are for this _meal_. Both of them are pouring in energy that glows on a wavelength only an incubus can see, and only then if they open all their eyes.

He deftly works through the threads of her pleasure, untangling a few and plucking another, watching the thrum of it echo in her body, red-hot _want_ replacing some of the frustration. It leaves less room for _trying_ , less to struggle against her own self.

Obito tastes the flavor of her pleasure and has to bite back a groan, himself.

Kakashi has figured out that rubbing little circles on her frenulum with his thumb makes Rin beat her fists against the nearest soft body—in this case, Obito’s—and the little impacts of her fists is the first thing he notices when he opens his eyes again.

“Here, move over,” He mumbles to Kakashi, who gamely scoots. Obito shifts as fluidly as he can, twitching a pinky to send some pillows flying over from the headboard. It’s Rin’s bed, Rin’s apartment, Rin who makes a wordless cry of protest with “I will fucking _end_ you, Uchiha!” and probably the best date Obito’s been on topside since he moved in.

He sets Rin’s back against the arrangement of soft supports, settles between her legs while she tangles both hands in his hair with the intent to maim.

Obito rolls his eyes up at her, blinks from beneath thick, black lashes before taking her easily into his mouth, right to the back of his throat. Her threats die on a word, ceasing into a long groan as she sobs for real, hands way too tight for a human lover to take twisted up perfectly in his hair.

It’s pretty great. Obito shows his appreciation by demonstrating how much skill one picks up after countless centuries with a biological love for dick. He lets himself get lost for a minute, appreciating her human _taste_ while enjoying the pleasure he’s almost literally drinking in. The nuances of it, where it rises and falls, tells him the way of this; her preferences and her _wants_.

He scrapes his teeth harder than most men like and his cock _jerks_ in the fucking sweatpants. Kakashi, because the man is an actual saint when he’s not being the most annoying cocktease on the planet, starts working them off with sure hands from behind.

Obito makes an approving noise that gets caught in the curl of Rin’s hair in front of his nose. She digs in nails hard enough that blood blooms, thick and dark and heady. It adds an elemental to this that it had hardly needed, an urgency and a deeper undercurrent of power and pleasure.

Kakashi’s hands, cold in comparison, slide down his back and take fabric with them, cool palms pressing down his ass.

He doesn’t have time to find some way to bitch before Kakashi is situated properly, the thick blunt head of his cock nudging around Obito’s entrance. It’s a tease, but a magnificent one, as far as teases go. Obito’s breath shudders out as all of his muscles clench in anticipation, shivering at the _feel_.

Kakashi, the bastard, despite being hard enough to cut through diamond, savors it. He uses one hand to drag the weeping head up and down Obito’s cleft, pulling back when Obito halfheartedly thrusts into it. Obito _whines_ around his mouthful, fully appreciative of the heavy, velvet weight on his tongue and the pretty girl it’s attached to but wanting Kakashi’s dick stretching him open _yesterday._

He can’t beg with his mouth stuffed full, but he can suck extra hard around Rin until she does it for him, groaning high in her throat and scrabbling for purchase at his scalp, around his ears. A bit more blood and if Obito didn’t have plans in that direction, he might not—

A sexy little shift of Kakashi’s hips, teasingly forward. The head tracing a _slow_ circle around his hole, just the barest bit of pressure. If they’d been alone he’d be rocking forward on his hands and knees, gasping out air and pleas. As it was, Kakashi chuckled, low but loud enough to carry.

“Kakakshi, I will _kick your ass_ ,” Obito threatened, slurping off Rin to mouth the words. _Her_ head, red and perfect, bumped into his lips as he spoke, as best he could over his shoulder. Obito let it paint his lips, reintroduced the flavor to his tongue greedily, and sank back down just as Kakashi pressed in with a low, decidedly amused: “hmmm…”

It shoved the breath right out of him. Obito _moaned_ loud and long around Rin’s cock, felt her hips jerk into his willing mouth. His asshole _fluttered_ around Kakashi as the bastard worked him open with his cock. It was such an exquisite feeling, rare because humans have weird _hang ups_ about anal and prep.

He doesn’t slide right in, though he certainly could have; instead he uses several thrusts of that perfect ass to wedge in, deeper each time, opening up Obito with _just_ his dick until Obito was sweating from the exertion of it, the amazing tease and press against his walls.

Rin’s cockhead brushed _hard_ against the back of his throat and Obito clenched around Kakashi, vision blacking out for a moment at the ripple of _yes_ that shot up his spine.

The witch thrusts her hips until Obito’s lips are pressed to the flesh of her mons, hair tickling his nose and the smell of _sex_ a source of pleasure all on its own. He rises off her just to take her back down again, feel the head slide over the roof of his mouth, the back of his throat—

Kakashi’s hips snap to his, sac brushing soft against his with a little _smack_. He’s big enough to make Obito’s toes curl, just enough lube to make the stretch burn in the best way. He’s full on both ends—every end he’s got at the moment, at least, and the temptation is there to shift _just so_ along that line, but then there’s not another cock in the room to shove into his pussy, so it’d be an exercise in frustration, and not even the good kind.

For a moment he thinks wistfully of Kisame, with dicks to _spare_ —he may or may not go a little cross-eyed as he rocks back into the next thrust, his throat fluttering around Rin’s cock on a moan as Kakashi’s head catches a little on his hole, that sweat, beautiful _drag_.

“Suck me _proper_ ,” Rin demands, voice so broken that Obito’s honestly impressed she’s conscious. The frustration and want swimming in her aura are impressive.

Obito raises both eyebrows at her, offended at the mere _suggestion_ he’s half-assing a blowjob. Kakashi shoves into him with quick little thrusts that drag the edge of his crown over Obito’s prostate every time he pulls out, in a way that makes Obito’s arms shake a little holding him up, but he still pulls off just enough to fuck his tongue into her urethra, maintaining eye contact until she arches her entire back off the bed, _yanking_ on his hair.

“You know this would—”

“You can _take_ it,” Rin shouts, slamming her head back against the mound of soft pillows in a way that is apparently unsatisfying, going by the growl that punches its way out of her throat. She drags him by sharp nails to the neck back to her cock, fucks right _into_ his throat again.

Obito slurs his agreement around her shaft, sucking and hallowing his cheeks. It’s hard to keep to the task at hand, the decision he made eons or several minutes ago. Kakashi’s cock is so _hot_ , the maddening slide made smooth now by lubrication. It’s such a perfect fuck—

Fuck.

Obito laughs, pulls back a little and carefully dislodges Rin’s hands from his scalp. Little pinpricks of pain echo all around his head and blood clings to her nails when he pushes them up the bed, uncoiling a little bit of power in the form of two tendrils of shadow—

“You _will_ fuck me with one of those later,” Kakashi promises, punctuating every other word with a heavy _fuck_ into him—

\-- That curl around her wrists.

She thrashes against them briefly, more out of annoyance that her orgasm is being delayed even _further_ than any real attempt to get free, and Obito wiggles his fingers to gather all the free blood in the room to him. It’s only a little, a glowing orb out of droplets hovering in front of his hand, from scratches healing even as he manipulates them.

Kakashi, sensing he’s doing something magic-related that perhaps ought not to be fucked up, pulls his dick free with a little shudder and sinks to his knees. Obito waits until Kakashi has hooked him open with two thumbs and is licking into him, halfheartedly kicks the smirking man with the leg not taking his weight, and when he’s not in danger of rocking forward on powerful thrusts turns his attention back to Rin.

It’s the work of a moment, even with color painted high in his cheeks from how Kakashi’s tongue is drilling in and out of his ass—and it’s amazing that the man has waited this long, that he didn’t _start_ with this when he had the opportunity. That he chose to work Obito open with his dick had and does read like a _gift_ , one Obito will thank him for later, likely with some good old-fashioned tentacle fucking.

Normally, Obito wouldn’t try such a major working on his own. What Naruto can do by the grace of Kurama with a blink, lesser sex demons would expire from the effort of. This requires blood from Obito, sigils and more power he’d be comfortable giving up all at once _if_ he didn’t live in a house full of sex and a literal sex god, or Hashirama who is always on tap to fuck some of the All Mother’s approval into him—the point is, Obito doesn’t have to fear recharging in the depths of hell, somewhere, enemies at his back when he’s not at his full power.

He’ll merely go… home. And barely notice the half-hour before he’s fed to capacity again.

He keeps it simple, with so little blood, traces two symbols side by side on Rin’s navel.

 _Laguz,_ the element of water, for blood and change. Memory, to relearn that which is forgotten.

Next to it, _Othala_ , to inherit it. A rune for things set right.

He sucks the rest of the blood into his mouth lest it drip onto his symbols, then with a careful intake of breath shoves in with _power_.

Obito is careful to regulate it, to monitor the flow into something that won’t wreck her or leave him completely drained, but all things considered it _is_ ridiculously simple, for a major working. He clenches around Kakashi’s tongue, bends forward and takes Rin’s cock back into his mouth.

He laps around the salty-sex taste of her, keeps his attention on the glowing red runes inscribed just a few inches above his eyes, and watches _hers_ go wide and gold with magic thrumming through her.

Rin _shouts_ , dick spitting out some delicious slick. Obito chases the taste, sucks in the cock, chases it back down as it retreats. He follows the flesh until it’s a clit, soft and new under his tongue, and then he lowers his head and licks her lips in a _hello_ kiss.

“Oh my God.” Rin says, when the magic has trailed out of her and she goes from out-of-breath to wondering.

Obito hums against her, lapping casually with his tongue.

“Quite the opposite, actually.” Kakashi opines, rises from his kneeling position to feed his dick back into Obito with one hand.

Obito feels it all the way to his _toes_ when Kakashi pushes in. It’s a great feeling.

“Oh my God.” Rin repeats, more insistently this time. She’s staring at him.

Obito offers her a winsome smile from his position licking her brand new pussy.

Finally, Rin laughs, disbelieving and joyous.

“Lick my pussy, demon-boy.” She instructs, curling her toes into the bed near his shoulders. Kakashi goes from a slow, teasing rhythm to a proper fuck once more.

Obito bends his head to the task at hand, idly rubbing his thumb along her outer lip. In a few orgasms, he’s going to trace his cock along her folds. He’ll introduce her to the shivery-silver pleasure of her new genitals with his fingers and tongue, show her how to stack the climaxes back to back, and then, when she thinks she’s sated, fuck his cock into her pretty cunt until she screams for it.

Kakashi will help.

He’s good about such things, when he’s not being an utter cocktease of a bastard.

Afterward, when they collapse into a heap with a few orgasms between them, Kakashi will pull him close and mutter into his temple.

“So, did you have a nice day out?”

“Mmm. Best date ever.”

Kakashi will raise one silver eyebrow.

“Better than Kisame and the shore?”

Obito will hum, thoughtful.

“Well, that’s hardly a day _out_. Today was a date to the city, even though we only spent a few hours there.”

Kakashi would press a kiss to the same temple, pleased.

And Rin will hit both of them to shut up, grumble and threaten and rearrange until she’s got a two men arranged around her and a sufficient quantity of blankets.

Then she will say, to the dark of her tiny apartment’s bedroom: “ _Where_ did you move to, again, Kakashi? And do you have any extra rooms?”


	4. Kakashi/Zabuza (& living with Sakura is the gift that keeps on giving)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura's one night stand stays for breakfast and Kakashi wants a taste.
> 
> It's Zabuza/Kakashi, with Obito/Shisui, Hashirama/Izuna, and Kisame/Genma in the background. Because Orgy House.
> 
> \-- Tim.

Kakashi is picking at breakfast and scrolling through a social media app, mostly for news stories and cute dog videos, when Sakura walks into the kitchen.

He looks up—most of them do—because she really is fun to look at. Short, artfully messy pink hair that looks gorgeous against her fair skin, the same rosy color as her nipples—sadly, hidden away for now—and light-washed jeans that hug her waist.

The little top she’s wearing stops at her rib cage and the flesh of her belly is on full display. One finds themselves helplessly drawn to the band of those well-fitting jeans, the tiny sliver of black underwear visible above one of the back pockets, the belt loops that just beg for a finger to slide into and tug her close…

Kakashi isn’t the only one to look up, but it’s obvious Sakura’s going out. She’s wearing a shirt, however short. Of course, with the nature of her work, she can dress however she damn well pleases.

Sakura slides onto the bench next to Hashirama and leans across the table on her forearms, drawing him into a conversation about ley line-based wards. Their voices are animated and friendly; his ears tune out the meaning behind the human sounds.

His eyes slide onto the man who stumbles into the kitchen after her, looking like his world has been thoroughly rocked. He can’t look away, veritably trapped.

From the island bar, Obito snorts into his coffee.

If Kakashi could, he’d flip him off; as it is, he’s probably staring.

The man looks a bit shell shocked, glancing around the kitchen. Genma, predator among predators, holds up a pot of coffee with a smirky grin.

“Rough night?” He asks, and then moves the carafe in taunting circles. “It’s good for what ails you. Kisame, grab him a mug.”

Kisame, busy being king of omelets, flips some egg with a spatula and a flourish. He uses his free hand to flip up a mug from the drying rack and into his palm like a juggler. He proffers it to the newcomer, sitting on his hand like a saucer.

The guy ambles over and takes it by the handle, gently. It’s dwarfed by his hands.

Kisame looks up absently, then does a double take.

“Hey, Zabuza!” He grins, delighted—and showing his teeth. Zabuza blinks and then squints, as though he knows more than one person with blue-tinted skin. Kisame doesn’t often force a human appearance when he’s home.

“Kisame.” Zabuza grunts, shuffling over so Genma can fill his cup. He does, bemusedly.

Zabuza takes a sniff, then a cautious sip. His eyes fly wide.

“Well that can’t be legal.” He laughs.

“Magic, not drugs. Say ‘thanks, Mother’.”

“Thanks, Mother?” Zabuza parrots, question lilting the words.

Hashirama looks over with a mega-matt smile.

“She loves Her children!” He says, entirely too bright for so early in the morning, energy-infused caffeine or not. Though granted, Kakashi figures, the man has the All-Mother’s energy running through him straight from the tap.

Zabuza stares at him. “You’re the Avatar.”

Hashirama just beams louder.

“Her will runs through me,” Hashirama agrees. When Zabuza can’t say anything else quick enough, he turns back to his conversation with Sakura.

Finished blinking at the most powerful witch on the planet, Zabuza’s eyes flit over the rest of them. Obito is drinking his coffee for the taste, like the fanfiction-writing New York hipster disaster he is, and meets Kakashi’s eyes over the rim of his cup.

He raises one brow, sips his coffee, and offers a small conspiratorial grin.

Kakashi plucks his meaning from the gesture with no effort at all, rolls his eyes.

Yes, good thing Naruto’s not here to make the collection of badasses even more impressive. Though, considering he’d come home with _Sakura_ of all people…

Kakashi’s attention goes back to Zabuza. He’s wearing a shirt, but it’s a slip of a thing; one of those sleeveless muscle tanks that Obito loves so much. It’s tight on him, possibly one of the ones Sakura likes wearing around, oversized enough to hang off her frame and display whatever neon sports bra she’s wearing.

Now _there’s_ an idea. Zabuza has gorgeous biceps and shoulder blades that could cut glass. The collar bone visible through what might be Sakura’s shirt is very tempting.

Izuna, half draped over Hashirama’s lap, watches them with lidded, sleepy eyes, cheek pressed into the man’s shoulder.

Shisui is half asleep on a stool next to Obito, staring sightlessly at a large open textbook.

“So,” Kakashi says, perfectly casual. “How late did you two get to bed?”

Sakura cuts green eyes briefly too him, huffs a little, and doesn’t stop her sentence.

Zabuza turns to look at Kakashi for the first time. His eyes are brown. He’s _tall_. Possibly even taller than Kakashi, and isn’t that exciting?

“Didn’t realize Sakura needed permission to do anything.” The man says mildly. Dangerously.

“ _Ha_.” Genma laughs from behind him. Obito chokes into his coffee. Kakashi glares at both of them.

“Oh, that’s not why he’s asking,” Kisame chirps from his favorite stovetop. “He wants to know if you’re ready to go again.”

Zabuza looks punched-startled.

“That so?” He drawls, suddenly interested.

Kakashi sets his abandoned phone down without much fanfare. He brings his own mug up to his lips without looking away. It should be lukewarm by now, but magic is a wonderful thing. A tingly rush of energy goes right down to his toes.

If it’s a blessing from the All-Mother, there’s a strong chance it’s revitalizing in _all_ the right ways. Even Kakashi knows it is Her preference that Her children ejaculate as often as humanly possible, something about seeding this world and all the others in the multiverse.

Hashirama is _persuasive_ in his explanations; it’s hard not to feel the truth of it when he’s literally fucking Her approval into you.

“See that?” Obito opens his mouth to say. Kakashi’s head snaps over, ready for violence. A low growl builds in his chest. “That was his ‘let me blow you’ expression.”

“Yeah?” Laughs Zabuza, who has apparently decided they’re all highly amusing. “And what’s this one? Looks like ‘murder’.”

Obito takes in Kakashi’s face at a glance. He snickers.

“That’s Raiju for ‘if you cockblock me I’m going to eat you.’”

Of course an incubus would think he’s cute. Happy laughter fills the room. Kakashi’s going to have his teeth around his boyfriend’s _throat_ next time they tumble into bed together.

Kakashi inhales and tastes contentment from his nearest neighbors, happiness from Obito—always welcome, no matter if he’s being a little shit—and amusement from the peanut gallery watching the food.

“Well, he’s not wrong,” Kakashi shrugs one shoulder, lets _want_ shine bare in his eyes. Zabuza shudders a little. Oh, my.

He casts silver eyes up and down the man’s frame, slides them back up to Zabuza’s eyes as a dare.

“That is, if you’re up for it.”

His internal clock says it’s still nearly an hour before Shisui’s first class. Sakura rises from the table and waves on her way out. Hashirama turns to Izuna and murmurs something, switching conversational partners easy as anything. He wiggles his fingers without looking and vines flow out of the hardwood floor, sweet-smelling and soft at Zabuza’s feet.

Kakashi rises on silent feet and stalks over, eyes lit up with challenge.

“You got a room here, raiju?” Zabuza’s voice has gone deep, fresh arousal mixing with the scent of flowers and steel, come and sex and magic lingering on his skin. He hadn’t showered yet and the floral smell from Sakura’s hair lingered all over.

“It’s Kakashi,” He said, dropping fluidly to his knees on the cushion provided. “And here is fine.”

“Here is—” Zabuza squawked, startled and interrupted as Kakashi settled hands on his hips and nuzzled right into the heat of his pants. “ _What_!?”

“Don’t worry about it,” Genma advised, slinking over to Kisame and tugging him to a wall. Kisame flipped his latest egg thing onto a plate filled with them, ready for the rest of the house to wake up, and turned off the stove. Within seconds Genma had the larger shifter crowded back and was kissing down his throat.

Hashirama ran his hands through Izuna’s hair lazily.

Obito started purring, coffee forgotten. This was a much more filling breakfast to an incubus.

Shisui jolted awake at the sound, looking over suspiciously. Then he looked around the room.

“Did you start an orgy around me when I wasn’t paying attention _again_?”

“Pay more attention,” Obito grinned, roguishly handsome. “And no, they started it themselves. Why do you always blame me?”

“It’s literally your doing ninety percent of the time,” Shisui defended, huffing mad and unwary to the danger as Obito focused on him.

“Does that mean you _don’t_ want a quick blowjob? For luck on your exam.” He leaned closer, black eyes lit with sexy intent.

Kakashi ignored all of them, running nose to chin along the hardening cock in front of him. The bundle of smells was plainly mouthwatering.

Zabuza finished looking around in disbelief and tilted his head back, laughing for real. His hands slipped into Kakashi’s hair as joy replaced surprise in his scent palette.

It made it _better_. Kakashi moaned into the fabric of his pants, tracing the outline as best he could with his lips. Cloth diluted the taste but it was _there_ , heady and delicious.

Kakashi sucked a little, just to make it wetter and the tastesmell more pronounced. He panted, open mouthed.

Above him, Zabuza groaned.

Somewhere, Shisui sucked in a gasp that stuttered into anxious laughter, and Obito hummed playfully. No sound or scent was out of place.

Zabuza tightened his fingers around white strands, then let go with one hand. Kakashi would have whined, but the hand only moved a few inches away, sliding along his own hip to move his sweats out of the way. His palm brushed Kakashi’s knuckles to do it, pressing down the waistband without pause, and _that_ was certainly to the good.

It ought to be rewarded, in fact. Kakashi moved both hands to help and was gratified to find that Zabuza wore nothing underneath, band of his pants slipping over his bare cock and letting it bob back up without any further hindrance.

Kakashi leaned his entire face into the smell and the warmth, rubbing his cheek along the shaft.

Zabuza wrapped his free hand back in his hair, tipping Kakashi’s chin back with the grip so he could grind into it a little.

“Oh, that’s nice.” He said, brown eyes appreciative. Kakashi hummed. Zabuza shifted his grip until he could press his thumb into the corner of Kakashi’s jaw, a little, prompt him to open his mouth.

Kakashi didn’t need to be told twice.

Zabuza slid forward into soft warmth and met zero resistance.

“Fuck, I owe that girl a lot.” He managed, stifling his hips so he didn’t jerk forward. He contained it to a shallow thrust instead, moaned at the way his head skipped along Kakashi’s tongue. Kakashi flattened it to get more of the _taste_.

Kakashi strengthened his grip on those sexy, sexy hips and used them to yank Zabuza closer, enjoyed the slide over his taste-buds with a little shiver of delight, and buried his nose into soft black curls. He inhaled, the scent dizzying, and set to work.

He made a mental note to thank Sakura, sometime. They were totally keeping this one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm [on tumblr.](https://www.definitelynotaminion.tumblr.com)
> 
> This is officially my first contribution to KakaZabu Week over at my rarepair challenge blog [Uzushio.](https://www.uzushi0.tumblr.com) KakaZabu Week 2018 is over now, but we're about to start a femslash/wlw event if you're interested!


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